I think I love Maisie most at 10.5 months. That isn't to say I haven't loved her in the past. It's just that now, I love her most of all. This stage of her life is simply amazing. Simply put: she's the most human she's ever been.
Maisie now gets humor. She purposely tries to be funny. She imitates Nibbler by putting things in her mouth and then shaking her head back and forth. She pulls my hat over my face to play peekaboo. Her babbles have meaning. She insists on eating real food -- daintly using her thumb and pointer finger to grasp tiny pieces of grapes, chicken, crackers and cheese (boy does she love cheese!) and shove them into her toothless mouth. She is clapping. Not chubby-fist smashing. Palms flat, face smiling, clapping. That's all she wants to do. That and standing. Yes, she is now standing. It lasts only a few seconds at a time. But there she is. All 2 feet of her. Wobbly, but standing.
Her ability to learn new tasks is staggering. Her ability to master them is even more impressive.
I read recently that the reason we can't remember anything from our childhood is because our mind develops at such a rapid rate. This makes me wonder why no one has been working on simulating baby's neural development. At least this could be the concept for a movie. If you could have the ability to learn like a baby or retain memories, what would it be? But I digress...
I wish I could learn like Maisie. I'm working on some new tricks. I've written more 'statement of work' documents in the past two months than ever before. I've done image touchups in Photoshop and Illustrator. I've implemented three marketing campaigns. I've worked with wireframing software. I created invoices in QuickBooks. I just locally rerouted a system's DNS (yah, I'm still not sure what it means, but I can do it.) This is not meant to brag. I'm not sure if any of these things were done well. But they were done.
Like Maisie, I'm doing these things because I have to. Because in order for our company, and therefore our family, to thrive, my learning curve needs to be at baby speed. Unlike Maisie, I don't need to master these things in order to survive, or at least to be considered a functioning member of society. When I need a master, I can find one. But I don't like only being okay at something. I want to be a master at everything I do. It's not reasonable, I know. As a result, I find myself filling my days with things I know I'm the best at -- writing, producing, editing, planning, business development, client communications, and stalling on the business plans, growth projections, wireframing, etc.
I also fill my days with being a mom. I can't claim to be a master at it, but as Maisie develops at super speed, so does my ability to care for her. While I know I don't do everything right, I feel as though I carry an inherent confidence as a mom that I don't for other new things. Yes, I do it because I have to, but I do it relatively well most of the time. I know that in my gut and it makes me feel good. I'm more patient with her. More attentive to detail. More forgiving. And, as I said before, more confident. It's a confidence that I want to, and will work on bringing to new and difficult business tasks.
Until I get there though, you can find me clapping.